Your 13 Month Old

"Your 13 month old" is the title of the e-mail I just deleted. Once a month I receive an e-mail explaining what my (insert Paige's age) month old should be doing. I've tried replying and asked to be removed from this e-mail list. Apparently they did not get it. I continue to receive this monthly stab in the heart. It hurts! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about Paige. I wonder what she would be like. What she would be doing. What her smile would look like. Sadly I won't know until the day I join her in heaven.

These e-mails hurt, but now they remind me of so much more. They have a whole new meaning. They now remind me to be thankful. Thankful for my sweet baby boy. It's such a "twisted" thought but I can't help but to think that if we had not lost Paige we would of never of had Landon. This very thought makes me cringe. I can't imagine life without Landon and to be honest I don't want to. However, I can't imagine my life without our Paige and the sweet memories we have of her. It's a tough thing to think about. I just know that we are on God's time and Landon was part of His plan.

I know Landon has so much if his big sister in him!