Missing My Girl

There is something about this spring.  Something about the warm sunshine.  The blue sky.  The beautiful flowers.  The green grass.  There is something about this time of the year that makes me think about my sweet girl.  Let's be honest, I think about her all the time regardless of the weather or time of year.  But lately I have been missing her so much!  I see so many little girls running around in cute sundresses and pigtails.  That should be Paige.  Today she would have been 16 months old!  She would be running around, getting into everything and just being a sweet little toddler.  But she's not here.  I can only imagine and dream about what she is doing and what she looks like.  Even 16 months later I still find myself out shopping and as I pass by the little girls clothing section I hold up little dresses and wonder what Paige would look like in it.  I so badly want to buy her hair bows and cute sandals.  I actually carried a little girl bathing suit to the cash register one day.  I was seriously going to buy it for Paige.  At the last minute I talked myself out of it.  I know Paige has the cutest swimsuit in heaven.  I just wish I could see her in it.  This momma is struggling right now and missing my little girl.  The pain really never goes away, but I find myself numb to it at times.  In the midst of my grief I have found new joy and new happiness in my precious Landon but the pain and the desire for my daughter has not gone away.  It's a part of me.  I think it always will be. 

Mommy is missing you Paige.  I love you so much sweet girl!

Your baby brother loves you too!