This small three letter word comes up in every thought and every conversation I have. Why my baby? Why did she have to be so sick? Why do my husband and I have to go through this? Why do I have to watch my family be in pain? If there is one thing I have learned through this terrible tragedy it's that we don't always get the answers we want from the big man upstairs. Paige had more prayers in her few short days than most people get in a lifetime. I didn't understand why our prayers were not being answered. We are good people, Pat and I will be great parents and we wanted so badly to bring our baby home. I just didn't understand why she couldn't get better. I came across this song yesterday (on a blog of another mother who lost a child) and although it does not give me the answer I want, I have to believe in God's plan and have faith that one day I will undertsand. Please take the time to listen to this song, it may help you begin your own process of understanding.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8Gxv9CRRVM
I think I would have forgotten how to put one foot in front of the other without my amazing husband. He has been my rock and he has carried me through the past 14 days. These two picture are two of my favorites because they show such true love!
Great photo of Daddy and sweet baby Paige. Very special time to remember!
ReplyDeleteWe are still praying for you both. This is such a nice way to share Baby Paige with others...thanks for doing this blog. Blessings to you. Love & hugs - your cousin, Bethany
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful tribute to your sweet baby girl. I am so amazed at how many lives Paige has touched in her short time here on earth. You and Pat have been so strong throughout this whole experience and you both continue to amaze me every day. I've never been prouder of anyone. We will never forget Paige and her beautiful face. I love you all so much!
ReplyDeleteMarissa,
ReplyDeleteWhat an absolutely beautiful way to honor your precious baby girl!! You have reminded me the true meaning of what faith is all about. Your strength and courage are beyond words! Thank you so much for sharing your most private thoughts and emotions through this blog. Know that I think of you both everyday and that I continue to send prayers your way!!!
Love,
Kristy Keck
Marissa,
ReplyDeleteI think we all have been asking, "Why?" along with you. It is difficult to remain faithful and strong when the miracles don't come and when our prayers are not answered the way we like. Thank you for sharing the song and your thoughts and faith. Through it we can all heal with you and walk along side you to find the future that is in His plan. Love, Stacey
Marissa,
ReplyDeleteYour faith and strength is inspiring. Know that you have an entire school and a classroom of kids who love you and are thinking about you always. Your students tug on your "invisible heart string" every time they are thinking of you (which is often!!!). Our thoughts and prayers are continually with you and your family. Please let me know if I can help with anything in any way.
Love,
Nicole
Marissa,
ReplyDeleteI think I have asked why a million times since I heard the news that Paige had Leukemia. In fact all of my questions have started with why and still do. Here are some things I do know and have seen since last week. I have seen a couple so strong in love and support for each other. I have seen family show love and support beyond my wildest imagination. I have seen a school community come together to support one of their most loved teachers. I have see a friendship of beautiful women (2nd grade team :) grow to be the strongest friendship I have ever had. I know that none of things can bring sweet baby Paige back but I know it is an encouragement to you in the days, months and years ahead. I love you so much and I am so glad that I was able to spend some time with you this last Friday. I would do anything for you and Pat. Remain strong with each other and God.
Love you!
Nicole
Marissa -
ReplyDeleteI'm an old friend of Nicole's and my heart is just aching with your story. I lost my son to a birth defect coming up on two years ago and it has been a long road, dark and strange and studded with grace. I'd love to talk to you some time if you would welcome that. Here's my email:
jenfarra@gmail.com
~jen
Marissa,
ReplyDeleteIt's Donna again. I have cried for you in these pictures. You have inspired so many through this blog site. I volunteered at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City when I lost my first child. So, many mothers could not be there to hold there babies or feed them when they were in the NICU it was healing for me. It may not be for you but I met so many wonderful people along the way. You are so lucky to have the support of a wonderful man and husband. Those pictures of him and you holding paige are priceless. My heart aches for you. Iam so lucky to have my boys and a 3 year old grandaughter. And our second grandchild coming Feb. 8th. We are praying for her at this time. There is reason to believe she may have downs syndrome. It has been tough for my son and his wife.