Tuesday, September 6, 2011

100 +

This is my 104th post since I started this blog.  I planned on doing this post for my 100th post last week, but with life being a little crazy and updates on dad and Landon taking precedent, here I am now writing my 104th post.  Wow!  How my life has changed since I started this blog only a few short days after losing my sweet baby girl.  It had been suggested to me that I should journal through my grief and record my journey of healing.  I took it upon myself to take that journal and to go somewhat public with it on this blog.  This blog was definitely meant for me.  It was meant to be therapeutic.  It was meant to be a release of much pain, anger and sadness.  It was meant to be a way for me to heal after the loss of my daughter.  It's just an added plus if others can find comfort or strength from what I write.  I write the truth, I write my raw feelings and emotions, and I write what is on my heart.  As I sit and write tonight I can't help but think back to the past 8 months.  Before I sat down to write this post I went back through and reread every single post... all 103 of them.  I can't believe how my life has changed over this year. We were given a beautiful baby girl and then so quickly she was taken away.  We then struggled for months to get back on our feet and to have faith that God's plan was in action.  That plan came to light on April 10th when Pat and I found out we were pregnant with baby #2.  We still had heavy hearts grieving the loss of Paige, but getting out of bed was a little easier that day knowing that a new life was growing inside of me.  Since that day in April we have felt an enormous amount of anxiety as we prepare for the arrival of our son.  We've thought of every "what if" and "what could go wrong" and yet we know that it's out of our hands.  Our Lord has already wrote the life book of Landon and his little life is now in His hands.  Pat and I are just blessed enough to be Landon's parents.  Then came the devastating news most recently that my dad is battling lymphoma.  Another challenge, another bump in the road.... yet we will overcome this and somehow in the end it will only make us stronger.  As I reread through my posts that was the common thread... we will conquer, we will be stronger, we will have faith.  Life will throw us curve balls and yet we will overcome.  Together as a family, as friends, as one in Christ we will overcome.  Here's to 100 more posts about life, love and faith....  Thanks for taking this journey with me!

"The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; Blessed be the name of the LORD."

Job 1:21    

4 comments:

  1. Marissa,
    Thank you for sharing this journey with all of us. I have gained much from this blog; a restored faith in God, seeing how precious life is and not taking one single second for granted, and to not sweat the small stuff as you always say :) thank you again for your true raw emotions and sharing your strength with us all! You are an inspiration!!
    Love ya,
    Kristy

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  2. I have learned so much from you. On the days I consider "bad" for me, I read your words of Praise, Love, Faith and Family and all seems so much better. I thank you very very much.
    HUGS
    Marcia A

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  3. Thanks for taking us along for 104 posts. I look forward to many more. Not a day passes that I don't think of my sweet niece and talk to her and I can't wait to meet my little nephew in a few short months. Love you so much-- you continue to amaze me!
    Marcia

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  4. You truly are an amazing person Marissa! I admire how honest you have been through this rollercoaster journey. I read your blog every chance I get to the computer. You are such an inspiration to all of us and I can't thank you enough to letting us into your life. I know Paige is so proud of her mom and dad and so are the rest of us.
    Much love ~ Mandy

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