Although I do go back to work on Monday, you better believe that this sweet face will be forever embedded in my mind and heart.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Won't Let Go
Today is a tough day. Today is my last day home before returning to work on Monday. I'm terrified! I don't really know what I'm terrified of, but I am so scared. It may be I'm terrified I won't be as good of a teacher as I was before this nightmare. It may be that I'm afraid that by returning to work I'm going to have to face reality that I am returning from maternity leave and I don't even have a baby at home. It may be that I'm scared of the heartwrenching thought that I have to move on with my life. It may be that I'm scared that I can't remember life before Paige or who I was before I lost my angel. I'm terrified beyond belief, but I have to make this step. In a sense going back to work is like going to my second home. I love my school and the great staff I work with. They are like family and this morning I was reminded of that. A dear colleague sent me a song today and reminded me that I wouldn't be alone when I do return on Monday. She wrote "I wanted to share it (the song) with you because I want you to know that we all are here to help you through this in anyway we possibly can...we will hold on to you and "won't let go". " Those words meant so much to me because I honestly don't know how I am going to do this, but knowing I have a family at school to help me through is so comforting. Thank you Kristy for your kind words, here is the song...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Marissa,
ReplyDeleteI know Monday will be tough, but you'll do great!! You're a wonderful teacher and your students will be so happy to have you back in their classroom.
Oh, I just LOVE that picture of sweet Paige! Monday will be hard but you're going to do great, Marissa. You are so blessed to have such wonderful people to work with...all of the support at both yours and Pat's schools have amazed me. The women on your team, in particular, are so wonderful! I'm glad to know they'll all be there with you to help you through each day! I love you so much! Maria
ReplyDeleteMarissa,
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing person and an amazing teacher. Your students are so lucky to have you. They are SO EXCITED to see you again. :) I know Monday will be tough, but I also know that you can and will make it through this. You're not alone, and we all will do everything in our power to help you through this. We love you!!!!!! And I'm all for just sitting and chatting while the kids read if you don't feel like teaching Monday :)
Nicole
I wish I was still working with you at PVE. It is hard to not be able to support you on your first day back but I know our team will make you smile and support you like crazy through the day. I love you so much!! I'll be giving you support through prayer. :)---Nicole
ReplyDeleteYou are an AMAZING teacher and the kids will be sooo excited to see you! Don't worry about the person you were before Paige...You are not that person, not entirely anyway. You are after all a MOMMY, you are her MOMMY and will be forever! As horrible as this whole thing has been, you are a stronger person. You are still the Marissa we all know and love, but you have a little girl that has changed you and your life forever...and for that I know you will be forever grateful! :)
ReplyDeleteSee you Monday
Love and hugs!
Marissa,
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful teacher. I know Monday is going to be hard, but I know you can do it. I have told you before how amazed I am by your strength! I wish I could be there Monday for you, but we will all be thinking of you. I know PVE will be glad to have you back.
Also, I love that picture! She looks so sweet!!
We will all be there for you on Monday. The kids love you and we love you. I know there are so many thoughts and fears going through your mind. Take one step at a time and know that God is with you all the way.
ReplyDeleteDeb Keyes
To Marissa,
ReplyDeleteI saw your website about the beautiful hats in memory of Paige via a friend's facebook page. You have such a beautiful daughter and were blessed to have her for 3 days. Treasure every memory and thank God for those little moments you were able to share with your daughter. Losing a child is the most difficult thing you will ever go through. I can say this through experience....our son will turn 4 on March 7th...although he is celebrating in heaven, we are celebrating his life here. Much like your story, our son, Cameron lived 7 days and was diagnosed with Trisomy 13 and a severe heart defect. We did not know this until after he was born and flown to Cardinal Glennon Hospital. Our journey with Cameron was the most beautiful journey and he continues to live in our hearts and memory.
No words will help you through this difficult time, but I am very sorry for the loss of your daughter. Be gentle with yourself and know that you have an angel watching over you each and every day!
God Bless!
Tomorrow will be another change. Take a deep breath and take it hour by hour. This could be a good change and if not, summer is right around the corner!! :) I will be thinking of you. Let your kids smiling faces bring you peace and happiness!!
ReplyDeleteKasey
I will be thinking about you all day but I know everything will be perfect. We love you and miss you guys!
ReplyDeleteJustin and Amanda