Monday, December 5, 2011

Emotion Overflow

We've made it to the week of Landon's birth!  Huge accomplishment!  We are just overjoyed that in just a few short days we will meet our sweet little man.  Unfortunately, we have anxiety, fears and lots of other emotions that accompany that joy.  It's something I've tried to shake for some time now, but I know until a healthy little boy is in my arms those fears will hold strong. 

I've done a lot of thinking lately about the past 11 months.  What a rollercoaster ride we've been on.  We've had ups and we've had downs and we've even fallen off the track.  Really, we started off the track on day one of 2011. But through the grace of God we got back on, we've fought our fears, we battled through tragedy and we now are on the home stretch.  This week we will continue to fight our fears and get to Friday.  That's the goal and we are taking it one day at a time (sometimes one minute at a time). 

Today I had my final doctor appointment before the big day.  It was so crazy to walk out of that building knowing that the next time I walk in, I will have a baby boy.  Doctor appointment went well.  We did do another BPP test and this time Landon was not as cooperative.  He was a bit sleepy and we could not wake him up long enough to do his practice breathing.  Instead of receiving a score 8/8, he got 6/8.  :(  This is not cause for concern, but of course I worry about it.  Both the ultrasound tech and the doctor reassured me this was nothing and he probably did his practice breathing some other time throughout the day.  I just wish he would of let his mommy see it.  Oh well, I'm sure this won't be the last time he doesn't want to do what mommy says. : )  Now, we just wait until Friday.  We pray hard that Landon will come into this world a healthy, happy, bouncing baby boy! 

Pat and I both truly appreciate your thoughts and prayers.  Please keep them coming! 



10 comments:

  1. I'm so excited and anxious for you and Pat. I will continue to send prayers in your direction. Good luck on Friday!

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  2. Pat and Marissa,
    Please know that so many people are praying for you and anxiously awaiting the great news that is only days away. Thanks for opening your heart and sharing your journey with us!

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  3. I couldn't be more excited for you to hold that beautiful baby boy. I know that this birthing process has so many emotions tied into one, but I know once that baby is born, Landon will be a beautiful source of healing and restoration to your family. God is faithful! And your journey has been difficult, but He is leading you by the still waters. I pray that you have peace and comfort all of this week leading into Friday. And I appreciate you being so vulnerable and sharing your journey with so many people. I know it continues to help and bless all who know you.

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  4. Sincerely,

    Kristen Fleschman

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  5. Oh my goodness. We were just talking about the anxiety you might be experiencing today. We are all anxiously awaiting the news of Landon's arrival. Friday is going to be a LONG day waiting to hear the news. :) I can't wait to meet him for the first time and see a smile on you and Pat's face. Prayers are always coming your way in the days ahead.

    Love you guys so much!! Stay strong.
    Nicole

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  6. Marissa-we are so excited for you and Pat! I've been thinking alot about you lately... Although I can not begin to know what the last year has been like for you, I understand the fears that have been nagging at you. As you know, we were blessed with our second baby, Madeline, this past July. Well, we did wait a long time and also experienced three early miscarriages before Madeline came along. Each time I got pregnant I worried that a second baby wasn't in God's plan for us because I was so much older. Each time you realize it's been a while since the baby has moved, you start thinking the worst. My doctor had me do the BPP tests weekly for the last 4 weeks because my age made it a high risk pregnancy and each time, you hold your breath waiting for any reassuring comment from the technician. So I do understand a small portion of what you are going through...
    Please know that I am praying for you that you will be given some peace of mind this week as you prepare to meet your little miracle. I am also praying for you that everything will be worry-free and joyous as you see Landon for the first time. But no matter how the blessed event unfolds, I know that you will trust that God is taking care of that sweet little boy (just like Paige).
    By the way--you are delivering on my 40th birthday so that must be a good sign! Your old advisor will be thinking about you the rest of this week and waiting anxiously on Friday to hear the blessed news from Kathy or Patty.
    Much love and tons of prayer--
    Julie Meyer Dibble

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  7. I know the fear and anxiety going into a second c-section, however I know your fears and anxiety are ten fold and that I can't imagine!! I dont know of one person who isn't praying for you, Pat, and Landon. I also know that you have a sweet angel who will be leading Landon on his journey to meet his mommy and daddy!! I pray peace and comfort find you these last days....and I have faith that the only pain you will experience will be sore cheeks from so much smiling!! :)
    Love ya!
    Kristy

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  8. Marissa,

    You, Pat, and Landon are in my thoughts and prayers throughout this week! I know how scary giving birth by C-section can be, but I know that this is so much more than that for you! I pray that everything goes well. I cannot wait to meet sweet little Landon! We'll be on pins and needles all day Friday!

    Love ya,
    Amanda

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  9. Sophie, Livi and I are thinking about you and praying that you have the peace you deserve. I am sure that the emotions are overwhelming....and there is no way to avoid the anxiety and worry. That said...this will be a completely different experience for you. One that will end in a new beginning! Paige will be there holding your hand and streaming the strength that God will provide. Marissa....you deserve to be a happy Mommy, and this is about to happen. We are cheering you on! Can not wait to see a picture of Landon. Sophie is so excited for you. We have a niece who was taken too soon...I think Claire (Sophie's cousin) will be holding Paige's hand in heaven friday as she wraps you in comfort. xxoo
    Robyn Crecelius

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  10. Setting my alarm for Friday Morning and will be praying for you all all day until we hear the good news that you are indeed snuggling a healthy baby boy :)
    God bless you!

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