3 Months

Today my heart has officialy been broken for 3 months.  Time sure does fly (even when you're NOT having fun)!  As I think back over the past three months there are so many thoughts that run through my head.  I first think about everything I've missed out on not having Paige here.  How many kisses did I not get to give her?  How many poopy diapers did I not get to change?  How many sweet outfits did I not get to put her in?  How many nights did I not get to rock her to sleep?  I try not to think this way, but I do.  I want to do mommy things.  I want to hold my sweet baby.  I want to love on her and protect her and care for her.  After I have my little pity party for myslef, I start to think about all the wonderful things I got to experience because of Paige.  I got to carry her for 9 wonderful months.  I got to hold her in my arms.  I got to kiss her.  I got to tell her how much I loved her.  And then I got to tell her it was ok to go and be with Jesus.  I was holding my baby girl when her soul left this earth.  That's not something that every mommy gets to do.  I gave my baby to Jesus three months ago and I know she is healthy and happy in Heaven.  I miss her like crazy and can't wait for the day that I get to hold her in my arms again. 

Paige just moments before she went to be with Jesus in Heaven


Faith is to believe what we do not see;
the reward of this faith is to see what we believe.
-Saint Augustine