I am almost in shock as I type those words... 6 months... how can that be? Six months since I last held my precious baby. It stills seems like yesterday to me. I guess that's good and bad. Good, because I have such clear and vivid memories of Paige's three days on this earth and I don't want to lose those memories. Bad, because the wounds are still fresh and they hurt so bad. Many people tell me that the pain lessens as time goes on. Granted it's only been six months since Paige went to be with Jesus, but it still hurts just as bad as it did when it happened. I've learned to deal with my sadness and I'm getting used to this "ugly" new normal, but the pain is not getting any less. The thing that hurts the worse is that I can't even imagine myself with a six month old right now. Maybe because we never brought Paige home to our house, we never got to put her to bed in her own nursery, we never sat up late at night feeding her and changing endless diapers. We never got to be normal new parents. Don't get me wrong I would do ANYTHING to have Paige here today, seriously ANYTHING! I'd give my own life for my little girl to be ok. Although I want her here with me, it's still hard to imagine because I never got to do normal "mommy" things. You know the saying "time flies when your having fun".... well I got news for you... time flies even when you're heart hurts, life sucks, and you have hit rock bottom. Life still flies. It goes so quickly and Paige has taught her daddy and I to not take a single second for granted. Each new day is a gift and nothing is gauranteed. We treasure eachother, we treasure our familes, we treasure our friends and we treasure this new baby inside of me so much more than we ever dreamed possible. Paige did not get to stay on earth for very long, but the lessons my baby girl taught us are endless, priceless and the kind of lessons that will last a lifetime. Paige has forever changed us and for that we are grateful. Today my baby girl is celebrating her 6 month birthday in Heaven with Jesus. I bet they have the best birthday parties there. I wish I could have a free day pass to Heaven to be with her today.
Dear Jesus,
Today is my baby girl's 6 month birthday. Please hold her extra tight today, give her lots of love, shower her with presents, and tell her over and over again how much her mommy and daddy love her. I know Paige is so very special otherwise you wouldn't of needed her in Heaven so quickly. Her life has given us great joy and she has taught us so much about You. Please take good care of our angel on her special day and always!
Love,
Marissa
My Sweet Paige,
Happy 6 month birthday sweetheart! I bet you're growing so quickly and learning to do new many new things in Heaven. I'm sorry we can't be there with you, but please know you are always in our hearts. Not a second goes by that we don't think about you. We talk about you everyday and we can't wait for your brother or sister to arrive so we can tell him/her all about you and how very special you are. Paige, you have blessed us more than you can imagine and have given us so much joy. We are so proud of you and so thankful that we were chosen to be your mommy and daddy. We think it's such an honor. You will always be our precious first child and you will never be replaced. We love you with all our hearts and miss you so much!
All our love,
Mommy & Daddy
Marissa,
ReplyDeleteThinking of you both and praying for you! If I could, I would find that free pass for a day and give it to you!! I've said it many times before, but your strength is inspiring! Love to you all! :)
Paige has forever changed all of us. We are all so blessed to have had her in our lives, if only for such a short few days. I can only imagine how fresh your grief still feels and we pray for you daily. I know I tend to hug my kids just a little bit tighter each time, thankful to have them with me here. I know you will do the same when the new baby comes in December! Love, Michelle Godefroid
ReplyDeletePaige was my first thought this morning when I got up. We all miss her and think of her often. She has a special place in my heart and I pray to her all the time to help us all
ReplyDeleteLove Mimi
Your powerful and emotional words never cease to amaze me. Your love and passion for Christ is overwhelming. I wish I could be more like you!
ReplyDeleteHUGS
Marcia A.
Happy 6 month birthday to our sweet niece and cousin. We miss Paige every day and she is in our hearts always!
ReplyDeleteHappy 6 month birthday sweet Paige! Marissa, your words always touch my heart! You are such an amazing and strong woman! I wish there was a way to give you more time with your sweet baby! I know God is taking great care of her until her mommy and daddy can be with her again! I pray for you, Pat, Paige, and Baby #2 everyday!
ReplyDeleteMarissa and Pat,
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking about you a lot this past week. Happy 6 month Birthday, Paige. You are missed by so many. The 6 month mark is a major milestone for the two of you, and I know God's grace will continue to fulfill your daily needs for the next 6 months and the 6 months after that. God's mercies are new every morning.
Your perspective is refreshing and inspiring. I wish we could both have day passes into heaven to visit our children. I continue to pray for your family daily.
Kristen Fleschman